Smurf Village, situated deep inside an unknown forest, has been plunged into disarray following the assassination of Papa Smurf. Papa Smurf, who celebrated his 50th birthday this year, was doing some smurfing in the garden of his mushroom house when an unknown assailant broke into his home before smurfing Papa Smurf with a blunt object, said to resemble a cricket bat.Next door neighbour, Vanity Smurf, had this to say, following the horrific incident: “I was just smurfing in the kitchen when I heard a loud noise so I smurfed outside as quickly as I could - and there I saw him, Papa Smurf, smurfed. Completely smurfing smurfed. Anyway, how do I look? Smurfing hot, yeah? You’d smurf me right?”
The police are currently interviewing suspects. Among those accused of this shocking atrocity are Sneaky Smurf, Snappy Smurfling, Enchanter Homnibus, Grouchy Smurf and Spy Smurf - who was a colleague of Papa Smurf during his time at the CIA in the mid-1960s.
Grouchy Smurf was quick to defend his name. “Smurf you!”, he said, “I ain’t no smurferer. You smurf.” Sneaky Smurf also rebutted the allegations saying, “no mate, it wasn’t me. I was smurfing Princess Salvina… oh yea. That smurf can smurf, you know”.
The police are said to be looking for a small blue man, wearing white trousers, white shoes and a white hat. If you see someone who matches this description please call 08701 89 891 and ask for Detective Inspector Harmony Smurf.
