The Czech Republic has been plunged into a state of widespread of mild discontent, after the Secretary of State for the Interior announced an embargo on all cutlery except teaspoons. The Government took the unprecedented step after the country’s economy crashed amid accusations of financial mismanagement. The repossessed knives, forks and spoons will be melted down to make 150,000 Petr Cech figurines.Michal Zitka, an accountant from Prague, said “This is totally absurd. Why just leave us teaspoons? We don’t even drink that much tea. I mean, teaspoons, for Christ’s sake. What are they good for? Have you ever tried eating pot noodles with a teaspoon? It’s practically impossible. You just end up with a teaspoon full of sweet and sour flavoured noodle water.”
The Government has stated it hopes to raise over 675 euros through the initiative. Petr Cech welcomed the move, stating “yea, no. I think it’s great. My kids love the little figurines of their dad. If nothing else, this misguided endeavour has made two little Czech children very happy. I’m earning bugger-all in images rights, though.”
